yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Boobs are out for the taking
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
