i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
