if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
