Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
