I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
