I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I will be naked everywhere
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
