around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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