Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
