Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
