There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
