I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
