party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
