I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize