dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
