So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
