Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
