If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
