My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
