Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
