We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
