I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
