This girl is more easily done than said...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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