No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
