one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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