Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
