Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
