peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
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