i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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