Nicole vs. Life
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
