real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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