I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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