...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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