I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize