i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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