Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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