i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
