Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
