I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
