My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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