Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
