dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
