You work out of a Hotel?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
