So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
