All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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