i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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