God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
