you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
