I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
