Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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