I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
