legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize