when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
