i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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