Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
is this the sara with the beer cane?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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