So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
