Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
he high fived his dick after we had sex
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize