I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
