What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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