There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
