before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
