So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
