I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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