wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
