Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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