We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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