Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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