Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
