I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Shame - the story of my life.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
