Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
