I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
