Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
