Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
