I seem to have left my pride at pride
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
