What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
