He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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