Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
