we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
pray to the hookup gods
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