So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
