Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
